Disasterous Change of Course
by kuraokamiko
Summary: Ranma's finally got a plan to get rid of Xian Pu and deal with Ryoga's obsession... whoops, I mean 'crush' on Akane. This is taking place a few days after Xian Pu shows up and Ranma-male defeats her... so that would be... manga three or four. Obviously a


Title: Disasterous Change of Course  
Author & Email: DC James gundamwingzero@antisocial.com  
Archived: Coal and DC's Anime Area http://www.angelcities.com/members/coalandblue/index.html  
Fandom: Ranma 1/2  
Part: 1/1  
Type: Oneshot with slight AU  
Warnings: Madness, it was a challenge, slightly au... no, wait, majorly au.  
Summary: Ranma's finally got a plan to get rid of Xian Pu and deal with Ryoga's   
obsession... whoops, I mean 'crush' on Akane. This is taking place a few days after Xian   
Pu shows up and Ranma-male defeats her... so that would be... manga three or four.  
Pairing: Xian Pu+Ranma, Ryoga+Akane, and ultimately RyogaxXian Pu  
  
Written On: 5/28/01  
C&C is welcomed privately.  
  
* * *  
Disasterous Change of Course  
* * *  
  
All rights and privileges belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz   
Communications, Inc., and associated parties. The characters of this series are used   
without permission for the purpose of entertainment only. This work of fiction is not   
meant for sale or profit.  
  
* * *  
Text:  
"[]"= Speaking in a different language  
::= Thoughts  
**= Characters in Non-talkable forms  
_ _= Exaggerated Words  
* * *  
  
Ranma glared at the sleeping panda that laid on the futon beside him. It was thanks to   
him that Xian Pu was now interested in his male half. Well... not technically, but if he   
didn't lead her to the Tendo's, then the pigtailed martial artist wouldn't have this problem!   
And what's worse, Ryoga was going to kill him when he found out! The lost boy   
punched him for even looking at a girl for a second!  
  
:Speaking of the porker...: Ranma rolled onto his back, resting the Amazon Law Book he   
acquired from Xian on his chest. :I really need to figure out what to do with him. This   
crush on Akane is majorly getting out of hand. Maybe I should try to hook him up with   
someone.: He sighed regretfully, :Man, I wish I didn't have any fiances or girlfriends. I'm   
sixteen, for heaven's sake! The average marriage age for men was twenty-six! Pop really   
wants to tie me down.: a grin crossed his face, :I'm glad me'n Akane worked it out...   
sorta.: He winced as the memory of the buise on his cheek flared the pain back into   
existance.  
  
He rolled on his side as the panda snorted in his sleep. :Stupid old man... okay. First   
thing's first. Enemies need to turn back into friends before I can deal with the girls.:   
Hauyne eyes widened as they skimmed over a passage in the book, "Hello..." Sitting up   
with the book, he carefully re-read the paragraph. A mischievious grin spread over his   
face, eyes narrowing with an evil gleem, "Ohmy, this is interesting..." Already, his mind   
so usually attuned to battle accepted the challenge and began to form a mental plan.  
  
* * *  
  
Ryoga breathed out a soft sigh, soft axinite eyes turned towards the heavens, "Akane....   
it's been so long since I've seen your warm, beautiful face... will I ever see you again...?"  
  
"Two blocks down and take a right, you can't miss it." A familiarly smug voice gave the   
Hibiki boy directions.  
  
Ryoga turned with a smile, "Oh, thanks-" He paused, eyes looking into laughing blue,   
"RANMA!!"  
  
"The one and only!" He replied arrogantly. "Long time no see, P-chan!"  
  
"PREPARE TO DIE!!"  
  
"Ryoga, I need a man's opinion on something. Walk with me." Ranma grabbed one of   
the backpack's straps, still on Ryoga's shoulder, and half dragged him down the sidewalk.   
Ryoga, insulted at the thought of being dragged like a mutt, began his verbal retorts.  
  
"Ranma, I've been through hell these pass few weeks-"  
  
"I was wondering about the tan." Ranma retorted off-handed.  
  
"-and do not pretend that I'm your friend!! Who knows what horrible crimes you've done   
against Akane! I should be protecting her from the likes of you-"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes, "I don't sleep with her, you do."  
  
Ryoga was steadily turning red from anger, "-and you dare to mock my feelings for her!   
Hah, you are no man, needing multiple girls to fawn over you so you feel in control-"  
  
Ranma stopped, letting go of the taller boy, "Ryoga, shut up. You sound like Kuno.   
Now, let me tell you something so I can get what I want and leave you alone. Okay?   
Okay. First off, I'm not interested in Akane in any other relationship than that of a small   
rivalry and friendship. Sorta like us, except you're a pig-er-guy." He paused to take a   
deep breath, "So, as such, I just need to know something."  
  
The lost boy blinked slowly, then nodded, "Sure, Ranma."  
  
The Saotome heir beamed, smacking his fist into his open palm, "Great! What do you   
think of Shampoo?"  
  
An anger immediately ignited in the dark brown eyes, "What do you mean by that."  
  
:Phase one: Complete! Proceed to Phase two.: Ranma sighed, closing his eyes, "Isn't she   
just a wonderful person? Strong, sweet, kind, and just the right kind of woman any man   
would want? Everything that Akane isn't. I value Akane's friendship, but I think   
Shampoo is with the wrong person." he thumbed to himself to signal who he was talking   
about before continuing, "I think she deserves someone _stronger_ and more _romantic_.   
Someone who will honorably stand by her. And I... being a Saotome... cannot do that."  
  
The bandana'd boy couldn't believe his ears. His rival was admitting he wasn't good   
enough for an Amazon's affection AND he wasn't a good warrior AND shaming his   
family name all at once! It was too good to be true! He crossed hsi arms over his chest,   
giving the blue-eyed boy a critical look, "Okay, who are you and where's Ranma?"  
  
"Ryoga, c'mon! I've seen the light! I'm a bad person! I'm sneaky, sly, and I don't wanna   
end up like my father." :Oh, hell no I won't end up like that old fart!: "But it's so hard to   
control the Saotome genes, y'know? So... help me? I'll try to hook you up with my good   
friend Akane."  
  
Ryoga quietly contemplated what his rival was proposing. A temporary truce to find a   
match for Xian Pu, and in return, Ranma would willing help him get Akane's attention. It   
sounded like something out of a bad shoujo manga, or at least a baseless challenge. He   
worried his lower lip with his fangs before smiling at the other boy, "Sure."  
  
"Great!" :Phase two: Complete. Initiate Phase three.: Ranma grabbed the lost boy's wrist,   
dragging him down another half block to Dr. Tofu's clinic. "Let's go get Shampoo!"  
  
* * *  
  
Xian Pu was having a very boring day. It was being a slow day and the good Doctor had   
just left to get some herbs and medicine. Still, it gave her time to contemplate how to kill   
the Female Ranma and bring back home her Male Ranma. She really hoped they weren't   
siblings. She couldn't stomach the thought of being that red-headed demon's sister-in-  
law.  
  
She heard the door open, signalling that customers had arrived, "Xian Pu so sorry, Tofu   
out. Wait." She looked into the waiting area, and smiled, "Airen!" She immdiately   
glomped on the pigtailed martial artist, completely ignoring the handsome boy he was   
with. "Come to be with Xian Pu, yes?"  
  
"Of course, Shampoo!" Ranma replied, faintly hugging her back.  
  
"Ranma." Ryoga hissed his warning.  
  
Xian Pu let go of her husband, observing the other Japanese man before her, "Aiyah, who   
you? Airen friend?"  
  
Ryoga blushed, "Erm... sorta."  
  
"You good fighter?"  
  
Before Ryoga could reply, Ranma intercepted, "Are you kidding?! He's one of the best!!   
More often than naught, when we spar, we stalemate! He is certainly undefeatable!   
Hibiki Ryoga, one of the best martial artists I've had the pleasure of knowing!"  
  
Ryoga blushed, scratching the back of his head, "Ranma, quit it!" :But it's all true,: the   
Hibiki boy smugly told himself.  
  
An interested gleam entered Xian Pu's eyes as she ran her eyes over the boy, "Really?"  
  
"Yup! Do I lie? No, I do not!" :I bend the truth.: He glanced from Xian Pu to Ryoga with   
a smirk, :Phase three: Complete. Phase four: begin.: "In fact, just last week, he got his   
first victory on me! I was knocked unconscious by his mighty power!"  
  
Ryoga frowned, :That moron, he's referring to when Akane hit him for picking on me.   
What is he up to?:  
  
"Aiyah, strong male!" Xian Pu made her decision and glomped on Ryoga's arm, "Aye-  
aye-aye!! Very strong!"  
  
Ryoga, not used to being flirted with, blushed with a goofy grin, "Yeah..."  
  
Ranma lowered his eyes to the floor, letting out a regretful sigh, "Shampoo, there is   
something I should tell you."  
  
"Yes, Airen?"  
  
"... Female Ranma is my sister, Ranko. I can't have you kill her and she practically blew   
a fuse at the thought of you marrying me. That's why I introduced Ryoga to ya."  
  
Ryoga and Xian Pu blinked in unison, confussion clearly marked on their faces. Ranma   
crossed his arms over his chest, adopting the Saotome Wise Master look, "Ryoga has   
defeated me in battle. Thus, I am no longer considered worthy of your hand in marriage,   
Shampoo. Amazon law 126, Section B, Paragraph 4. I read the book."  
  
Xian Pu mentally read over the law, and let out a cry of shock, "Aiyah!! Airen right!!"   
She immediately whipped out her bonbari, neither boy questioned where, and took a   
ready stance, glaring at Ryoga, "You I challenge!"  
  
"Eh?! HEY!!" He quickly dodged the initial attack with the metal maces, eyes darting to   
Ranma for help, "Saotome, you-" He lept over the wide arc of the weapon, wincing to   
hear the crunch of the wooden chairs that were in the way, "Shampoo, you're destroying   
the waiting room! Let's take this out-eep!" There went her right bonbari out the window,   
which was now shattered in hundreds of pieces, "You're dangerous!" Instinct immediately   
took over as she rushed towards him, with serious intent on injury.  
  
BAM!! Ryoga watched everything move into slow motion as Xian Pu crumbled to the   
floor unconscious, a nice black bruise already forming on her cheek. The thud of her   
body landing on the tile knocked him back to reality, "OHMYGOD, I HIT HER!!!"  
  
:Phase four: complete. Good job, Saotome.: Ranma silently congradulated himself. He   
walked over to Xian Pu, checking her pulse, "Well, Ryoga, you won."  
  
"YOU DELIBERATELY-"  
  
"Ryoga, buddy, this is for your own good." He walked into the check-up area, where the   
faucet was. Getting himself a glass of cold water, he re-entered the lounge and dumped   
the liquid on the Amazon's face. She sputtered back to life, cursing in Chinese.  
  
"What-"  
  
"Ryoga won, Shampoo. I witnessed it." Ranma cut her off, staring at her pointedly.  
  
A tense silence reigned over the waiting area, centuring on the three teenagers. Xian Pu   
looked up into Ryoga's eyes, his aximite meeting with her zoisite. Climbing slowly to her   
feet with deliberate slow ease, she crossed the distance between them and wrapped her   
arms around his neck, "Wo ai ni, Airen." Then she sealed the marriage with a deep kiss.  
  
Ryoga was effectively frozen in place, even after Xian Pu let him go. She raised an   
eyebrow, turning to her former husband, "He always this way?"  
  
"Nah, he just had no sexlife before you."  
  
Her eyes widened and she reeled back in obvious shock, "Unheard of!"  
  
"Yup. You got your hands full with this one. But trust me. I wouldn't admit my defeat at   
his hands to you if I didn't think he was suitable to join the Amazons. Just be careful, he   
gets lost pretty easily."  
  
"Aa." She gave Ryoga a small peck on the cheek, "We have lots of time, ne, Airen?"   
THUD! Ryoga laid sprawled on his back, unconscious from shock. "Uh-oh." she   
commented, looking down at her dazed husband.  
  
Ranma silently cheered to himself to see the Amazon carefully putting Ryoga in one of   
the beds with gentleness that seemed fit to her nature. :I am _good_!: His celebration was   
cut short to hear an ominous roar of thunder outside. :Uh... I _really_ hope this doesn't   
come back to haunt me.:  
  
-Owari-  
  
A/N: ... the challenge is met. I must say it turned out better and slightly longer than I had   
thought. Who knows, I may just make an alternate universe and completely rewrite the   
Ranma manga to this story line. .... nah, too many projects. Also, I doubt I'll get much   
C&C on this story. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed this one-shot challenge!! JAA!! 


End file.
